In order to bring those wanted changes in our lives we have to change the way we are asking. Once you have established a goal, reflect on the way you are asking for that goal to occur.
It is easy to state it as something you do NOT want rather than something that you DO want. For example, let’s say you want to lose weight. You might express this as “I do not want to be fat.” Now consider how this statement makes you feel. You might feel guilt or embarrassment at the thought of being overweight. Now change that statement to something like “I want to be at a healthy weight.” This is less negative. Note how this statement feels versus the previous statement. The new statement takes the sting away, because ‘fat’ does not exist in the statement. The focus of being healthy has replaced it.
Let’s take this one step further and make a definitive statement rather than a wish. Consider the statement “I have decided to be a healthier weight.” This is a statement that you have made a decision and that you will make it happen rather than wishing that it MIGHT happen.
When I was in my 20’s I had a ‘thing’ with chocolate. We had this love affair in which every meal, chocolate was invited. I had to have chocolate with breakfast, lunch, dinner and every snack in between. In fact, chocolate became the meal rather than just an invited guest in many cases. No matter what I tried my thoughts always turned back to chocolate. I was totally head over heels for chocolate.
I decided that enough was enough. I made a decision, “I have decided to eat healthy foods.” This created a reality that gave little room for chocolate to live in. In making this decision, I was focused on eating healthy foods rather than feeling guilty over eating chocolate. This shift in thought led to a new habit of eating yogurt-covered raisins. I ate them but did not have a craving for them. They did however replace my yearning for chocolate and I went a solid year without eating any chocolate whatsoever – without missing it! The love affair was over and my new love was for healthier foods. Now if I am in the mood, I might have a bite or two of chocolate, but I can take it or leave it.
What are the habits you want to change? DECIDE today what you’d prefer instead and make that your new focus. Soon you’ll find you’ll be guided to the people, places, circumstances, events and ideas that will support your new habit and it can happen in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way.